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Life’s Unanswered Questions – Part 3

Time for the third course of this meal.

I am 52 years old and I consider myself to be fairly well-educated, but I still have so many unanswered questions!!

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Can you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic? And why do dogs like the smell of other dogs’ butts?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn’t he just buy dinner? Can atheists get insurance for an act of God? Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? And then there is what does PU stand for (as in “PU, that stinks!”)?
How far east can you go before you’re heading west? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? And if London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
Can a cemetery raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living? Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them? How can they arrest you for being ‘legally drunk’? If it’s legal, why is there a problem?
If there’s a speed of sound and a speed of light, is there a speed of smell? Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? And what do chickens think we taste like?
Why is Cap’N Crunch not a Captain? And how can a stupid person be a smart ass? When they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? Do fish get thirsty? And what happens when you go on a survival course and you don’t pass?
And you already know that I’m not this witty?!?! I actually got this from a website I know, who stole it from a girl, who knows this person that likes to dance who heard it at a bar from this guy who was walking his dog.