I Got Called Out For Stolen Valor Today

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I Got Called Out For Stolen Valor Today

I was at the local Arby’s which by the way, is a total shithole, but the wife, who has not been feeling well, wanted to go there, so that is what we did. The rule in the house has always been the sick person gets to decide what we eat.

We went to the drive-thru and when they handed us drinks, I noticed that one was not correct. I pointed it out and handed them back the wrong drink and they handed me the correct drink, right away, it was just sitting there waiting for me I guess. Then they handed me the bag, which took about 15 minutes to get, and when I looked inside, everything was wrong, not one single item was correct.

So I parked and went inside, which completely defeats the whole purpose of a drive-thru, but I move on. And I have never been one that prefers the drive-thru over going inside, but I was trying to stay with my wife to comfort her. Once inside, I tell the girl, who is the one that gave me the food at the window, that nothing is right, and she proceeds to question me as to what exactly is wrong. I told her that not one single item is correct. I must have someone else’s order. She of course explained to me that, that is what I ordered, without even looking in the bag. I mean, I know that I’m just a dumb old man, but I’m sure I can tell the difference between a roast beef sandwich and a brisket and a salad. After hearing her make excuses which amount to basically, it is impossible, she looks at the receipt and in the bag. That is when the fatass manager waddles out of her hidey hole office and rips the receipt out of the hand of the girl and asks the girl, what is wrong with this order, as she tries to explain, the manager, who is literally spitting food out of her mouth as she is talking, starts to yell at the girl, in front of the customers and the other employees.

Arby's sign
Arby's restaurant sign

This is the same Arby’s and I’m fairly certain the same fatass manager that I got told over the drive-thru speaker to fuck-off, off a few years back, like 5 years actually. I thought that I had posted about that story, but I didn’t so that will be next, after this one.

As they are remaking my order and moving away from Arby’s itself and on to being called out for Stolen Valor.

As I’m waiting, this older gentleman (late 60s or so) starts to make small talk and he tells me that when he noticed my hat that he wanted to buy me dinner. Ok, now that has never happened, but I move on. He then tells me that he should ask me for my autograph, which is very strange and I must be a hero. Uhm, nope, just an everyday person, thank you, I just happened to join the Marines when I was younger. I’m not sure where all this came from, I’m wearing a simple olive green hat with USMC on it.

averagejoe reenlisting for the last time
AverageJoe re-enlisting for the very last time 1994

He thanks me for my service, which is rare but does happen. I thanked him for his support, which is my normal reply.

Then the strange questions start, like how long was I in, which I said, 10 years (notice I didn’t say that I’m still in, but I get to be fat and grow a beard as I’m in a special unit),

and then he asked when did I serve, which I said from 1988-98. What rank were you, I said E-6, SSgt (notice I didn’t say that I was a 12-star general sergeant).

What made you want to join the Marines, I said, that I had always wanted to be a Marine since I was about 9 or 10 (notice that I didn’t say that I have a very unique set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, lol).

Where did you go to basic, I went to boot camp at San Diego, I said (notice that I corrected you and that I actually went to a recruit depot that is in the Marine Corps and not something I made up). I asked him if he was military and he said no, he had a whole host of medical reasons, you know the old, I almost joined the story.

Then more questions, like where was I stationed, I said mostly on the east coast, with two deployments to Japan (notice I didn’t say that I would have to kill you as I was doing Top Secret crap in locations that I can’t talk about).

Then I was asked, did I see combat and I said, no, I was in during mostly peacetime (what, someone who is stolen valor, not seeing combat, WTF is that shit, lol).

Then I was asked about my job while in, and I said my MOS was Intel (notice how I didn’t say Sniper Force Recon Raider Seal and though I was a “spook”, I didn’t tell you some bullshit, sorry, brothers, I was just a POG, but someone has to do it.), then thankfully his food was ready and he took his food and left.

As I was leaving the store, I thought to myself, I think that this guy thinks I’m not a real Marine. I’m not sure why he would think that, yeah, I’m overweight, but I have also been out 25 years, so there is that.

Now, he could have been a dude just looking to talk, but those questions are rather specific and strangely something someone in the military would want to talk about, not a civilian. I honestly think he was trying to feel me out. Well, dude, I hate to burst your bubble, but I’m an official Marine Corps veteran, and I have the been there, done that and I have the card to prove it, (along with bad knees, shoulders, feet, and attitude) lol. I know that some dirtbags have schemed their way into getting others to believe that they were prior military, but I have the VA ID card, the seal on my driver’s license, the 80% disability, bad knees, back, and shoulders to prove it, not to mention the MC license plates on my truck, but if you want to call me out, I’ll play, I can go on all day long and we Marines are good at playing fuck fuck games, now aren’t we!

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Average Joe

Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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By Average Joe

Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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