Time to Detox
It was time for me to detox my body and my mind so to speak. I have been struggling with how all this affects my relationship with my family. I feel that my relationship is often rocky with them, to begin with, and I feel that my complaining about being in pain and now my outbursts of confusion, anger, and crying is really having a toll on them. It seems to really cause them to look at me in a different light, either real or perceived, but it is real to me. So I stopped my Gapanetin, in part to detox my body and like it or not, it was also designed to punish me in some manner so to speak. Punish me for bringing all this on my family, who don’t deserve this and deserve so much more than what I can currently give me.
So what happens when you stop Gabapentin? For me, the very first thing I noticed was the return of the pain. At first, it was a little at a time and by now (Sunday morning @ 0645) I can tell you exactly what hurts and how it hurts. My hands seem to be the very first part of my body to hurt. They start off as though they are in a vise and someone is slowly cranking on that vise making the vise squeeze more and more on my hands. When I woke up this morning, they hurt deep down in the bone. Almost as though I have been outside in the freezing cold for a long time without gloves on. At times the pain, which cycles, is enough to bring a tear to my eye. Next, the pain radiates from my hands to my forearms and elbows, which are very much on fire right now. My fingers hurt to type this, but I have committed to this and I’m going to see it through. My feet and lower legs hurt in a very similar fashion as my hands and arms due and my right knee, which is all sorts of jacked up from my time in the Marine Corps and well just use and abuse is very sore, regardless if it is just sitting there or being used, is throbbing from time to time.
My neck and back are actually sore too, which may be a by-product of how I slept and the Gabapentin was simply masking that.
I had hoped for more clarity on my thought processes and how I physically moved and did things, but I’m still lost and confused. At this point, I will stay off the medications for a while. Wish me luck.
I’m not so sure that you should really detox yourself like this, but then again, I can totally understand it as well. I think you may need to sit and talk more with your family about this, your recent post about talking with friends and family made it sound like you had this all under control, but this post makes me doubt that. I can’t judge since I haven’t done this myself, but I highly encourage you to “practice what you preach” so to speak and do some more heart to heart talking. That is if they are at all open to it. I have you in my prayers
M
Though detoxing is a good thing, don’t do it with your important medications and those that you use for pain. Pain sucks and it will bring you down quickly, quicker than you think. Trust me, I have been there and done that one, once, once it all it took, I learned my lesson on that one.
You must have some major huevos to stop taking your pain medications. I know that I could never do that. I’m not a “tough” as I once was. I’m 60 now and I tend to need my crutches whenever possible and my pain meds are a major crutch for me.
No major huevos here, just something I felt I needed to do for several reasons, one was to detox, another was to prove to myself that I wasn’t making all this up.