From the very start of all of my neurological issues, I have been very open and upfront with my friends and family. I figured that I had two options, option one is to curl up in a little ball in the corner and cry in self-pity, or option two I could just face it head-on. So I choose the second option and faced it head-on like I have faced everything in my life. I have always had that approach to just about everything. When I was in Marine Corps boot camp, I went in the attitude that they can’t kill me and it can only last just so long and then the final outcome will be that I will have earned the title of United States Marine.

So with my neurological issues, I simply embrace it, face it head-on, make it part of me and own it. I mean I can’t change it, it isn’t going to go away, so I really don’t have a choice. My entire family knows what is going on with me as do my closest friends and some of my co-workers that I really trust. I have had issues with co-workers in the past many years ago, so I’m a little more guarded around co-workers. It isn’t that I’m trying it hide it from people or that I’m embarrassed about it. It is more along the lines of if I give certain co-workers too much information they will find a way to use it against me.

Now, I’m certainly the exception to the rule here on this. In fact, one of the handful of neurologists that I saw, told me that he knows that I don’t have Multiple Sclerosis because I have too positive of an attitude and that I would be really down and upset about it, if I actually had it. OK, strange, statement, but I move on. Now, many people tend to keep these types of things very close to the vest and some even hide it from their spouse or significant other. I highly recommend that you do not hide it from your spouse as you can really use an ally in your corner. Trust me on that one.

Now over the years, I have hidden some things from my spouse. It wasn’t really intentional; it was more of my way of trying to protect her. I felt that if I told her all the times I was in pain, all the times I was lost in the fog, all the times that I stumble fell, or bumped into things that she would really start to either look differently at me or more importantly it would get her down and I certainly didn’t want that. This was my burden, not hers. I had a Sergeant Major once tell me that he was made out of Kevlar, meaning he was bulletproof. Over the years I had seemed to adopt that attitude as well. In fact, one of my favorite sayings that I used while I was in the Marines Corps and still continue to use it still today, and is “Pain is weakness leaving the body”. The funny thing about that saying is, it can actually work for many things, but wow, it certainly doesn’t apply to neurological pain.

So back to my wife, as time went by, I realized that my thinking was flawed. It was really flawed actually, I found out that she was keeping notes, she was actually writing all this down in a notebook or a calendar. She was using these notes to help me talk to my neurologist. And her notes actually helped me remain on topic and helped to steer the conversation.

Just make sure that you are open with those that you care about and thank them for being there for support.