Lazy Asshat Parking

fire lane parking
  Reading time 3 minutes

Lazy Asshat Parking

Did you know that in front of just about every store and business in America, there is a fire lane? It is clearly marked in bright yellow or red paint with the words “NO PARKING FIRE LANE” painted in the middle of the yellow or red stripes. Did you know that the fire lane is not for parking, but for usage during a fire, by emergency equipment? Did you know that if you are parked there and there is an emergency the fire truck will “move” your car, when I say “move”, I mean move it by force. Either they will push it with the fire truck or have the firefighters move it for you. They do not care about your precious car, which should not be there in the first place. Then why are so many lazy ass people parking there? Oh, I am sorry, they are not parking there, and they are just stopping there for a few minutes (while they put their car in park and run inside the store, many times leaving the car running.) What jerks and I am fed up with these asshats.

I see it all the time outside of grocery stores, banks, and in front of ATMs…. They will stop their car in the fire lane like they are super important or something, and then they will go inside the store and do their business. Then they will come on out, get in their vehicle, and drive away as if everything is normal. As if the rules don’t apply to them and as if they are so much more important than everyone else.

That is because they have been doing this for so long that it is normal to them. They have learned that law enforcement is spread too thin to worry about things like this. The chance that a fire truck will arrive and move their car is extremely slim. Of course, these are probably the same people who do not yield to emergency vehicles, park in front of fire hydrants and park illegally in handicap-accessible spots, but those are entirely different stories for another day.

Instant Parking Karma
Instant Parking Karma
Mia Haresonfyre

By Mia Haresonfyre

Greetings Earth People, I'm Mia and Joe is allowing me to post on his blog as a guest blogger, I sure hope he knows what he is in for. I wanted to post about some of my pet peeves and he told me that he already has a guest blogger for that section, so I'm going to post about etiquette. Now this isn't some stuffy how-to have a dinner party BS with a half dozen different forks, this is more along the lines of don't be an asshat type of etiquette. The dictionary describes etiquette as "the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.". I define it as, don't be that asshat that everyone hates.

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