Why Can’t The Military Keep It In Their Pants?

keeping it in your pants
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Why can't the military keep it in their pants?

I’m not sure why it is such a big thing for military members to flaunt their sex lives. I remember being stationed in Iwakuni, Japan and there supposedly was a VHS tape (I’m sure there were copies of it as well) making the rounds of the barracks of a supposed female Marine willingly flaunting for the camera as she is getting it on with a group of male Marines.

I was also part of an investigation (I was the DNCO for the night in question) of a married female Marine who got pregnant while stationed in Japan. She cried the next day that she was raped, thus the pregnancy and thus the DNCO getting dragged into it.

After NIS/NCIS (this was the time they were going through their re-org) investigated and they determined that she was not assaulted and that she willingly was a participant in regular gang bangs in a neighboring barracks (thus I was off the hook entirely). Once they started to question the male Marines from another squadron, it was determined that this was a regular occurrence and that she had gang banged at least 20 male Marines and several female Marines.

Then there was the female Marine who would regularly be passed out in the barracks lounge half dressed. I do mean half (if that) dressed. I found her once with her shorts undone and halfway around her thighs. Of course, the SGTMAJ knew all about her adventures and the rule was to wake her up and get her into her room. If you can’t wake her, get a fellow Marine to assist, never do it on your own. So I and Larry carry this tramp back to her room and throw her on her rack and close and lock her door behind her.

A month later, I was on duty and around midnight, I got a call from her husband (a Marine, but state-side). He wanted to know where she was. He knew she was a slut and that she was likely out slutting around. I go to her room, knock, no answer, but I can hear the unmistakable sounds of sex coming from her room and I come back up and I told him I have no idea, she didn’t answer her door. He told me that he is across the street in the Admin Office and he and the SGTMAJ will be over in a few minutes. He and the SGTMAJ came over and said that they saw her and a guy enters her room and wanted to see if she would answer the door, since she didn’t want to bust her in the act, so he could get a divorce under the grounds of adultery. Back then under the UCMJ, you pretty much had to catch the cheater in the act, and that is what he was going to do. The three of us go to her room. I unlock the door and her husband opens the door and finds her riding this guy (who happened of course to be a Marine). Needless to say, it was a fun night.

When I was an instructor in a Navy “A” school, I caught this couple heading out for the night. I was on barracks duty and she came down carrying this big bag and looking like a 50-cent whore. She is wearing these stilettos, fishnet stockings, a super short mini skirt, a tight crop top, and a shit ton of makeup. I told her she cannot leave the base dressed like that, I said I don’t care what you dress like once you are outside the gate, but you can’t dress like that. She drops the bag and it starts to vibrate. She opens it up and it is full of sex toys (dildos, rope, handcuffs, leather wear, and so on. She finds the offending vibrator out of about 6 in the bag and turns it off, zips it up, and leaves the bag as she goes back to her room to change into jeans and a t-shirt.

Her husband (also a student in the barracks) tells me, as if it is a daily occurrence, that they are going to a hotel to have an orgy with a bunch of other Marines. I later found out that it is indeed a weekly occurrence, if not daily.

Then there is the time, I was on duty in the same barracks, but a few months later and I’m in the room set aside for the staff duty and I’m watching TV and I hear all this cheering in the courtyard, I look out the window and see a bunch of half-drunk male Marines, cheering up to the females’ barracks on the other side of the courtyard. I look up to the windows at the female barracks and I see three females in various stages of undress, putting on a show for the male Marines.

I can’t go over and stop it as I have to announce my presence when I enter their barracks, so I call a female Marine instructor who is a friend of mine and ask her to come over. She comes over and we call shore patrol and she and a female SP go over and bust the three females and two other females and two male Marines who we couldn’t see, but were having sex in the same room. Oh, the good times.

How about Selena Green Vargas in 2015, who supposedly cheated on her boyfriend (who was deployed in the Army) and made a secret GirlsDoPorn (GDP) video? She did it for the money, but the story goes on that GDP actually had a huge lawsuit against them for not paying the girls that starred in their videos. She did two GDP videos actually. So here is where Internet lore comes in, the story goes on to say that her boyfriend, a Navy Seal (aren’t they all Navy Seals and Scout Snipers), posted a photo of him in his U.S. Army BDU and his girlfriend (Selena) on 4Chan. Supposedly he was asking for people to rate him and his girlfriend and claimed that he just finished his training as a Navy Seal (sorry bro, you are required to leave the Army to enter the Navy so you can enter BUDS training to be selected as a Navy Seal). It didn’t take long for someone to find the publicity photo for Selena’s GDP video and shared that on the same thread in 4Chan.

Selena Green Vargas
From there the story snowballed into the guy in the photo being a victim of Selena’s lies. It is unknown for sure if he knew she was a secret porn star or not. My guess is that he was in on it all along. Today, the whereabouts of Selena is unknown, unless she is the ‘Selena Green Vargas’ on Instagram, with the bio of “Before you judge me, make sure you’re perfect.” There is also a profile on xVideos.com under her name with a few videos posted. How about the story of Jim and Heather Harmon? I know you don’t recognize those names, but you likely remember her stage name Heather ‘Brooke’ from iDeepThroat.com (iDT). iDT was huge back in the days before high-speed internet. Heather was notorious for not having a gag reflex and she demonstrated her abilities on many a male appendage’.  Heather started out with just a webcam and he and Jim (Oh, did I mention that Jim was a U.S. Marine) grew that webcam shows into a multi-million dollar porn business, with the website (launched in June 2000) at the center.

Heather Brook - iDeepThroat
Heather’s videos were being shared on forums and pier-to-pier sites like Kazaa. Heather never actually used the name of Heather Brooke, her fan’s simply misunderstood the name of the file labeled “iDeepThroat_-Heather_Brooke__RoomMate_-_threesome.mpg.”. The video was actually of Heather and Brooke along with Jim in a 3-minute ménage-à-a-trois.

Between 2000-2004 iDeepThroat.com was one of the hottest sites on the internet. Legend has it that they filmed all of those videos in base housing on Camp Pendleton. Supposedly one of their videos shows them literally driving by Camp Pendleton on the I-5. And in another video, you can catch a quick glimpse of Jim in a Marine Corps photo on a shelf.

Today, Jim and Heather have disappeared from the limelight and their where-about are unknown.

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Average Joe

Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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By Average Joe

Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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