"I almost joined the Marines"
Wow, 35 years ago (March 02, 1988) I stepped on the Marine Corps yellow footprints, and some of it seems like it was yesterday. I can remember most of the names of my fellow recruits in my platoon. In fact, I had this one guy hit me up online a few years back, acting like he was in my platoon and he got the boot for some BS and never graduated. He said he was the platoon religious Lay Leader and I remember our Lay Leader’s name, and it wasn’t this guy. He was one of those guys, that said, “I was almost a Marine” or “I almost joined the Marines“.
These asshats always have a really good story too. “Yeah, I got kicked out because I hit the drill instructor. They had to have an ambulance take him to the hospital. They just let me walk right out of the gates“. Yeah, uhm, nope, that isn’t how that would have gone down, but nice try. Or the really good” Yeah, I was almost a Marine, but I was too good at shooting, in fact, I shot 100% perfect (BS ALERT!!!!), so they moved me to the Navy Seals“. Uhm, again, nope, that isn’t how that would go down and unless you are this guy, then that is pure BS. And speaking of the “Deadliest Recruit on Parris Island“, that is BS too. There are others that shot 248 on the range, and they were using iron sights not freaking ACOGs. But congrats to you Recruit Austin Ferrell, who I’m sure is a Marine somewhere doing great things. I’m not in any way knocking you for your accomplishment.
Back to my post and the stories, if you were too good for the Marines, they wouldn’t send you to the Navy Seals. You would have to complete your contract with the Marine Corps first and then you could join the Navy and request to go to BUDs, but not until after you complete all of the selection process. But, sure, you tell your story.
Then there is my favorite story of, “yeah, man, I was in the Marines, I started in boot camp and a couple of weeks into training, they said I was too good and my test score was high, so they made me an officer, but I just didn’t like it so I quit.” Yep, I actually heard some POS tell me that story with a freaking straight face.
First, scoring high on your Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) doesn’t make you an Officer, you enlisted into the Marine Corps, which means that you were not appointed, you enlisted and signed a contract. And though others may believe your story, I don’t, as I scored extremely high on my ASVAB and the special screening tests that followed. And if you do that, they pull you for additional special screening. This means, that you will be offered a MOS that requires a high-security clearance and a brain. Back in the 80s the MOSs that required a high GT score were Intel, Presidential Protection, and a few others. But you are still enlisted, not commissioned. And you don’t get to “quit” the Marine Corps, but as an officer, you can request to resign your commission.
The greatest part about all these stories is the “I almost joined“, which is not only funny but often annoying to us that did join and got the check in the box.
Semper Fidelis
