Dazed & Confused
For as long as I can remember I have been like the energizer bunny, I could go all day, skip meals, and not miss a beat. On top of that, I have been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. I have always strived to do better, to push myself, and to challenge myself. But since my encounter with serotonin syndrome and currently my interaction with Cymbalta withdrawal, I have been having some very annoying issues.
Typing – My spelling and grammar have always been subpar, but my typing had always been spot on. When I was in high school, I was around 85 wpm, and that increased to over 120 wpm while I was in the Marine Corps. Recently, I’m at around 30-40 wpm and much of that is me hitting the damn backspace key. I find that I’m replacing letters with other random letters and I’m doing the same with words. I have typed paragraphs and looked back at them and have no clue what the hell I was talking about due to the mismatch of words.
Speaking – Not only is my typing horrendous, but so is my speaking. I’m stumbling over words, I’m losing my train of thought entirely, I’m studdering and I have never studdered in my life. I’m calling people by the wrong names and I’m having sudden random outbursts or nothingness.
Energy – I’m drained by noon most days and it is so difficult to make it through the workday, but I push myself.
Appetite – I have no appetite, nothing, when a meal is put in front of me, I pick at it and eat about 1/3 to 1/2 of what I would have normally eaten before all this. I guess I will be able to lose weight this way. And yes, I know that the energy issues are related to not eating issues. I have been supplementing my meals with protein shakes to help offset the lack of appetite.
Thought Processes – My thoughts are all over the place, I can’t stay on topic, oh look a puppy, and it is driving me nuts.
Sleeping habits – I can’t sleep or I’m sleeping all the time, there is not a happy medium. Most of the time I’m just so freaking tired, I could sleep all night and all day long.
Confused – To say that I’m confused recently is a major understatement. I can’t keep anything straight and my thinking is all over the place.
i can share some of you “pain” on some of this, but not all of it. it is so frustrating being in pain like this.
Having Fibromyalgia, Complex regional pain syndrome and migraines, I can share much of what you are going through, but not all of it. I can only tell you to stay strong and don’t let it beat you. God has a plan for you.
Blessings
The one thing I have not managed to really lose is my ability to speed read. I learned it while in the Corps and I can still effectively apply it today. Now for everything else like that, well that is an entirely different story altogether.
Being Dazed and Confused is par for the course for me. I tend to live my life confused in some manner or the other.