Gunny and a Boom, boom, boom

Gunny And A Boom Boom Boom
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Gunny and a boom boom boom

I have worked for and with some interesting characters in my military history, and I’m going to tell you about some of them.

I had this gunny once who seemed to ramble on after he told you what he wanted. It would be something like “I need the door kept closed, and a boom, boom, boom”, no joke, and the booms were much softer and trailed off as he talked. It was difficult to take him seriously at times. I was getting promoted to Sgt, and my buddy was recording it for my wife as we were in Japan at the time for a six-month unaccompanied deployment.

If you have never heard the enlisted promotion warrant, it goes something like this:

To all who shall see these presents, greeting:
Know Ye, that reposing special trust and confidence in the fidelity and abilities of SNM, I do appoint this marine a NEW RANK in the United States Marine Corps to rank as such from the DATE day of MONTH, two thousand YEAR.

This appointee will therefore carefully and diligently discharge the duties of the grade to which appointed by doing and performing all manner of things thereunto pertaining. And I do strictly charge and require all personnel of lesser grade to render obedience to appropriate orders. And this appointee is to observe and follow such orders and directions as may be given from time to time by Superiors acting according to the rules and articles governing the discipline of the Armed Forces of the United States of America.

Given under my hand at LOCATION this DAY day of MONTH, in the year of our Lord nineteen and YEAR.

SNM = Said Name Marine (Same as insert name here)

NEW RANK = In this case Sgt


So here I am, standing at attention, listening as the promotion warrant is being read, my buddy filming it on the other side of the room and Gunny Boom, Boom, is stumbling over words like President Biden taking the stage. The best part is when he got to the part about “This appointee will therefore carefully and diligently discharge the duties” and he stumbles several times trying to say the word diligently, and you can hear my buddy on the videotape saying “diligently, dumbass”. I’m sure the Gunny didn’t hear him, but listening to it on playback is funny as hell.

I worked for a SSgt once (was a Sgt at the time) who loved PT, so every time we had PT for our shop, we would run the PFT each time, and the run was the same course every time. It was the most boring PT ever, his thought was that if we practiced all the time with the PFT, our scores would go up. The problem with this philosophy is that we all had high first-class scores already, so what was the damn point. I mean, it got so routine and boring that we could set a clock for the exact time we would be done with PT. On the run, we would all slow down and jog on the return trip so we could bullshit. This asshat has so many leadership problems that I can even begin to spell them out without someone knowing who I’m talking about. No Scott, not you, lol.

SSgt Fun Times
My very first supervisor was a SSgt who was in charge of my shop. This guy was so fun to work with that I looked forward to my watch because I never knew what fun he might start. We had so much fun that one evening we were playing “baseball” in the SCIF (Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility) and we just finished putting the bat (an empty plotter paper roll) and ball (a tight bundle of paper and tape) away (under the raised floor) and I grabbed the NSTS phone (secure phone) that was ringing when someone came up behind me and very sternly slap my shoulder. It actually hurt and I quickly turned around to return the favor to whoever hit me as I turned around, the Commandant of the Marine Corps (CMC), General Al Gray was standing there in his woodland cammies. Damn, I thought we were busted for sure. We knew the CMC was in town and we knew that he was a SIGINT Marine by trade, but we never expected him to visit nor, were we told that he might visit the SCIF. He was the best CMC in my opinion. Sadly he passed away earlier this year.

Before everyone gets all upset about us screwing around while on duty, let me explain something. Our job was to monitor certain activities outside the US. The shifts were eight-hour watches, around the clock. So, if the subjects we are supposed to be monitoring are not active, then we have time to finish our reports and things like that, but once all that is done, the fun starts. As for playing in the SCIF, I have worked in a SCIF for the past 35 years (with a few short breaks here and there). So working in a SCIF might sound like it is really cool and all that, but for me and hundreds of other people like me, it is just our office, and it is like any other office, but with restrictions.

Gunny Trouble
I worked for a Gunnery Sgt who was pretty good to work for until I found out some ugly details about his personal life that haunted me. I was an instructor and one of my students died mysteriously, while she was on liberty at her home unit. I had been questioned by NCIS, just like anyone who had recent contact with her. When I was ready to EAS (End of Active Service), they had not closed the case yet. It was then that I discovered that he was the main suspect and that her death was a homicide. Today, I still don’t know the outcome of that investigation. I can never think of that Gunny in the same light again. I heard that he passed away in 2020.

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Average Joe

Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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By Average Joe

Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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