Office Toilet Etiquette

Why are people so freaking nasty? I’m sick and tired of the animals that I work with and around. Their bathroom and toilet etiquette are just disgusting, hell in some cases it is beyond disgusting. I can’t decide if the most disgusting was the time I walked into the empty stall and some freak had jerked off and jizzed all over the damn floor, or was it the one time, I was visiting another office building and I went in to take a leak and some freak took a dump in the urinal. Now I can’t imagine a situation where someone felt compelled to shit in the pisser, but sure enough. And the smell was just horrid.

As you can see, from the above, this post is all about public restroom etiquette and I’m going to share real experiences that I have had. I know you are probably asking yourself the same thing I did, which was, how in the hell did someone take a dump in a urinal, how is that even possible, and what was the situation that the “mad shitter” was so desperate that the only option that they had was to crap in a urinal. Now for you ladies out there, the urinal isn’t like a regular toilet, it will not flush a big ass turd. And unlike a toilet, there isn’t a ton of water, so the turd was not covered by water, which allowed the smell to fill the entire restroom. Needless to say, I walked in, saw the “gift” that someone left for the cleaning crew, was quickly overcome by the stench, and left and went downstairs to one floor, which was beyond gross.

I think one of the biggest beef I have about public toilets, is that freaky ass people don’t know how to flush the damn toilet like anyone wants to see your nasty ass business. Then there are the disgusting pigs that don’t wash their hands, and the number one excuse a male will give you is, “I know my dick is clean”. I don’t care, I know my piss is sterile, but you certainly won’t go grab the door handle after I pissed on it, now would you? What is even more disgusting are the freaks who take a crap and then leave without flushing and washing their hands. The sound of <retching, gagging, heaving>. Ugh, and I touch door knobs, handles, and stair railings that this nasty freak of nature touched. I mean, you just whipped your nasty ass (well, let’s just assume that they wipe, I can’t handle the thought of them not wiping and not washing). I’m moving on from not washing their hands after a dump, that is just way too nasty, but I have been in the adjacent stall and heard them just leave.

I find it weird that some people talk to themselves while they are on the throne. I work in a place where cellphones are banned, so they must be talking to themselves??? I hate going into a stall where it looks like the person before you went three rounds fighting with either the ass gaskets or the TP.

I also hate using the urinals, where the people before you are, well, let’s just say that they fall a little short and they are dribbling on the floor and that is gross, as I have to stand in and around your pee because you can’t take a step closer to the urinal.

I think I’m sick to my stomach now after talking about all this (seriously, I’m not disturbed at all, In the Corps, we would be eating lunch talking about things that are 100 times grosser than this).