June is Men's Health Month
June is Men’s Health Month, so I’m going to talk about the much-dreaded colonoscopy.
It seems that one of the two most feared or avoided medical procedures for men is the colonoscopy (the other is the prostate exam). I can state with 100% certainty that both procedures are completely painless and the fear that most men have is very much blown out of proportion.
I have had two colonoscopies in my life to this point and they are both totally painless. I actually had positive experiences with both and both were 100% totally different experiences.
The first was in 2012 when I had diverticulitis and I actually had a rupture that burst and the colonoscopy was in preparation for surgery. When it ruptured, I was admitted to the hospital for three days of IV antibiotics and then had surgery scheduled two months later.
During the time between hospital visits, I had a colonoscopy so they could see what they needed to do from the inside point of view. This procedure was done in the hospital itself as an outpatient.
The worst part about the entire process is the prep leading up to the actual procedure and the part of the prep is choking down the overly bitter-tasting solution that will start the “clean-out” process. Basically, you will drink a solution several times that will open the “floodgates” that will clean out your entire digestive system. After 24 hours of prep, you are cleaned out and ready for the procedure.
In 2012, I recall being on my side and wheeled into a surgical suite that was freezing cold. They injected something into my IV and I recall being able to count from 100 to 97 and that was all she wrote. I woke up in a recovery area, I recall being very fuzzy and not aware of what was going on when I started to come to.
It was about then when I heard the voice of a co-worker which really messed with my head, but when I came to fully, he told me that his two boys just had their tonsils taken out and he saw my name on the outside of the curtain to my room. All said and done the process was very painless.
This most recent procedure was about the same, but the prep was much more gentle than the one in 2012 (they use a different process now) and when I woke up, I wasn’t at all fuzzy and my wife was standing by my side, but the nurse said I did take a while to come to, I just didn’t remember it. Again, the process was totally painless.
So for all you guys out there, just the straight-up facts here:
- It isn’t “Gay”
- It isn’t painful, you are 100% out for the entire process
- Nothing has changed besides you are very gassy for the next 24 hours (as they blow air into you when then insert the camera so they can see better)
- They aren’t violating you and if they are, you are passed out so what does that matter as you are going to be none the wiser (but trust me they aren’t)
- Start the prep when you are at home and going to be at home for the rest of the day
- Follow the prep directions to the letter, you don’t want to have to repeat the prep again if you don’t have to
- Take the day off from work when you are doing the prep, the urges are very sudden and can be intense
- Take something to do in the bathroom during the prep, you may be in there for a while (I also recommend a pillow, trust me)
- When you think you are done with the prep, don’t worry, you aren’t 🙂
- Stand up when you get the opportunity, your legs and butt will fall asleep
Will Smith vblogs his colonoscopy
So if Will Smith can do it, so can you.
Update: This was all well before Will got a bad rep after he slapped Chris Rock.