Fear Of Losing My Job
Today is really going to suck, major dick. How are you supposed to feel, when you know that you are being fired today? I have a meeting with my boss today and I’m really not looking forward to it.
Well, that is my reality today, I’m the one being fired and for no reason. Yeah, I know everyone always says that it is for no reason, but in my case, they just want to save a little bit of money, so fire the guy that has been working here for 18 years and replace them with a much younger and cheaper person.
The project that I once supported, did this very same thing, but they didn’t fire anyone. Their IT guy took a promotion and when they hired a new kid for the job, they discovered the cost saving.
What pisses me off more than losing my job, is the reason why. They will assign 8-10 engineers to design a widget, but no IT support. In 2023, we are in the stage where very little gets done without a computer and when you are using high-end services like mechanical and electrical engineering applications, you need IT services that work, period. The only thing I can do at work that does not require a computer, is use the restroom.
We have to swipe cards for access to every room and office, we 100% communicate via computers, I mean they still hold the occasional meeting face-to-face, but they are certainly not the norm.
I’m being forced to jeopardize my health to keep my job. With my host of autoimmune diseases, fatigue is at an all-time high and if you are too tired to type, then you are too tired to do anything.
I have to walk this very fine line, between pain and no pain. If I get to the point where I’m not in pain, I tend to be more sluggish because of the pain meds. If I cut back on the meds, then I’m in pain, but I can get more done as I’m not so sluggish.
My plan is to cut back on pain medications, so I can hopefully be less fatigued, which will hopefully allow me to be more productive. Now, let me be straight for a second, I’m not slacking in my work, in fact just the opposite. So it isn’t a productivity thing. It is really more of a “we like to see you” kind of a problem.
I’m able to telework and I do as often as they will let me, and when I’m teleworking, I’m just as productive as when I’m in the office, in fact, I’m probably more productive teleworking as I get fewer drive-by.
Since I work for the Government, I will not lose my job, they will just pawn me off to someone else. I guess it is time, I have only been supporting this group for 15 years. It just sucks knowing that I have three years left before I can retire and I will have to go learn a new job.
