Death of Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a friend by the name of Common Sense. Common sense lived a long life but died from heart failure. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories, and offices. He helped folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn’t always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it’s okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including, body piercing, whole language, ebonics, and new math. His health declined when he became infected with the “If it only helps one person it’s worth it” bug.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. Common Sense knew the end was near when:

• Schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies
• Reports of six-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate
• A teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch
• A teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student
• Schools need parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when a student is pregnant or wants an abortion.
• Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports. Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws, and mandatory airbags.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. Three stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance, and Whiner. Not many attended his funeral, unfortunately, because so few realize he is gone.

Author unknown