The Legend of The Big Green Weenie

BOHICA
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The Big Green Weenie

The legend of the Big Green Weenie. The Big Green Weenie, is generally defined as

A Marine being fucked over or somehow cheated by the Marine Corps. 

Urban Dictionary has it defined as:

Something that you will eventually get and continue to get once you become a Marine. Getting the “big green weenie” may include such fine events as: getting fucked with duty on a particularly important weekend, getting in trouble for some small petty shit while being in garrison, getting stationed at a shithole like 29 Dumps.

The “big” represents the big bad Marine Corps picking on the little guy, the Marine. The “green” represents the true color of the Corps. The “weenie” represents getting fucked over.

LCpl Hooligan: What I got duty again?! Dude Im getting fucked in the ass by the big green weenie!

RallyPoint has is defined as:

Any time the Corps sticks it to you, the mythical “Big Green Weenie” was involved some how, some way. It is an all knowing force that can secure liberty, extend field day, cause an inspection, extend a mission, cause a pay issue, etc. etc. etc. Marines specialize in drawing this creature on walls, note pads, each others face (if you pass out first) etc. The big green weenie will get you. It is not an if, only a when, how many times and how bad will they be.

It’s the action that occurs after the preparatory command BOHICA, (Bend Over Here It Comes Again).

The funny thing is that I use BOHICA often as a civilian.

Today the BGW has evolved outside of the Corps, and was used by former Senator Alan K. Simpson, during a CNN interview about President Obama’s National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform:

And anybody giving you anything different than that, you want to walk out the door,
stick your finger down your throat, and give ’em a- the Green Weenie.

In the Vietnam era:

Green Weenie was a fictitious, ultra-virulent, incurable STD that could be acquired in the East Asian theater that resulted in not only the descriptive coloration but the eventual shriveling and loss of the affected appendage.

And in Boot Camp, you might have heard that these are what we called “Green Weenies” or “Greenie Weenies”, they’re JUST the green scouring pad without the sponge, when you’re in boot camp and you hear “get on the deck and start using your green weenies on that” you really wonder what the motivation was for naming it that.

Hell, there is even a drink called the “Green Weenie” which I’m sure some Jarhead came up with, but if you are interested it is

1 bottle Corona® Extra lager
fill with margarita mix

Take a swig of corona, then fill the bottle the rest of the way with margarita mix.

But unlike Nessy, I finally found the real Big Green Weenie, some 25 years after I got out.

The Big Green Weenie

Just don’t be like this guy, I think he likes the Big Green Weenie just a little too much. And if that is you, you can get a 3-foot-long weenie on Amazon for $766.

I think he likes the Big Green Weenie
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Average Joe

Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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  • Average Joe

    Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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By Average Joe

Welcome to the Average Joe Weekly blog. This is basically my place on the web where I can help spread some of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. I served 10+ years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty, but that was some 25 years ago.

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