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Some of my neurological symptoms changed while others stayed the same. I still had increased numbness on the left side (arm, leg, crotch, and face) and shooting pains (hand and feet), and the feeling of being off balance stayed constant as well. I really started to bump into things every now and then (mainly with my arm or shoulder. The muscle spasms that can be seen under the skin ramped up as did the intermittent slurred speech and misuse of words. I now had difficulty comprehending simple written directions. The fatigued ramped up to where I would suffer from bouts of debilitating fatigue and have trouble with insomnia and waking several times a night. The muscle weakness and shaking of hands when performing fine movements remained and the mood swings stayed as well. My left knee remained cold, and I started to get twitching of my eyelids and vibrating sensations in my legs and arms.

Bed of Nails

Laying in bed at night is often a fun experience. If the shooting pains have subsided long enough to get to sleep, then there is the never being a comfortable feeling to deal with and the game that I call the Indy 500. In the Indy 500, just about every obscure muscle in your body will twitch just to let you know that it is there. Now, this is not all at the same time, a muscle in my arm may twitch, then one in my left, followed by my side, groin, toe, head, lips, back, buttocks, and feet, then start all over again. Often it is a different muscle each time and in places, you never even thought of having muscles. Yeah, I know that we have muscles all over the body, but these are twitches are in places that you often don’t have control over, like try to twitch the muscle in your forearm, about six inches down from your elbow. Now only move about a one-inch segment of the muscle, and don’t move your fingers or biceps to make it move. Pretty strange huh?

Besides the pain the spastic muscles and the uncertainty of what’s going to happen next, I’d have to say for me the worst side effect would have to be the emotions. I was raised in a family where my father (or at least the person who provided the sperm, because he was not much of a father) where the children were to be seen and not heard. My father was a firm believer that children were to be his servants and do his bidding. One thing that was not well tolerated in that house was crying, especially for boys. My brother and I were chastised, to say the least for showing emotion, and crying was not allowed. My emotions will run the gambit of crying one second (and I very seldom cry) to being so pissed off that I want to explode a second later, to being even-keeled the next second. Being raised in a very strict family, boys were not allowed to cry. I got ridiculed when I was about six years old for crying at my grandmother’s funeral. And again a few years later at my grandfather’s funeral. My father who, turned out to be the biggest prick I have ever met, would verbally abuse us, kids, from the time we got up to the time we went to bed. So I became hard and learned not to cry. But now as an adult who spent 10 years in the Marine Corps, I have caught myself crying for the strangest reasons.


This is my chocolate

Since I have been sick I have cried at just about everything and it happens at a drop of a hat. It’s not just the waterworks that have changed, but I now know what a woman going through PMS feels like at least from the emotional side of things. My moods will swing from the far left to the far right in a second. The smallest things will set me off or make me laugh. They are not violent moods, not even angry moods. I can be at a party with family and friends and laugh and have a great time and then something will happen that would not have an effect on a normal person that will cause me to get short. It lasts for a few minutes in most cases and then it’s back to the mood before. My wife and I would joke at times that it was like PMS including the cravings for yep, you guessed it, chocolate.


  1. MissUnderstood says:

    Laying in bed at night is the worst for me, I just wish I could get away with a stiff nightcap before bed which would hopefully allow me to chill. But we don’t drink much in this house, but it sure would help me at night.

    I so love my chocolate, but I’m a girl and I think we all love our chocolate when it is that time of the month.

    1. Avatar photo IHaveSomeNerve says:

      I feel you on the nightcap. My wife seems to have a problem when I take a drink, which is usually a small glass of Rum & Coke or Bourbon and Coke. But it so relaxes me. Hopefully, someday your spouse will understand.

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