October 2005
By now my symptoms have changed, the biggest changes from six months ago are an increase in the shooting pains in my hands and feet, shaking when performing fine movements, and cold feelings in my left knee. The rest of the symptoms from before are still there and having fun with me.
Neurologist #3 (Dr. M)
In the days leading up to the appointment, I had some rather sharp shooting pains and one not-so-shooting, but most definitely sharp pain. Several times I thought that I was shooting lightning bolts out of my left ring finger. I was having to walk with the damn cane again. The day prior I was working in the yard with the family, cleaning it up for the fall and I had a very strange charlie horse-type feeling in my right lower thigh and knee. It was very deep and felt like it was at the bone. My wife tried to help me with the pain, but the normal Charlie horse routine had no effect. The pain lasted about five minutes and then let up to a much duller and more manageable pain. It would shoot back up just to let me know it was there every so often for a minute or two. On the day of the appointment, the pains seemed to subside.
Next up on the rotating list of neurologists was Dr. M, she was probably the rudest doctor that I have ever seen and I spent 10 years in the Marine Corps being treated by Navy “doctors” for various things. The visit to the doctor, I’m only using the word doctor because it’s in her title and on the piece of paper she had framed on the wall, was a complete waste of time. We entered her office and I sat on the table and she sat on her doctor’s stool. She opened my chart, and then she looked up at me and stated that she did not know why I was there today. It was not in a question format, but more of a statement. That caught me off guard and I handed her the history sheet that I have been keeping. She took the sheet and glanced over it for a couple of seconds. I started to give her a brief history which started off with the numbness in the left arm which is when she stopped me and stated: “You’ve always had that numbness, but why are you here?”. Again a strong statement. I said I guess I didn’t understand what she wanted and she stated that she had looked at my chart 10-15 minutes prior and that the doctor that I saw (who was in the same medical group, mistake number one), nearly six months ago had run all the test he could and they all were normal. Well, that struck me as odd, I saw that doctor twice for 15 minutes each visit and within that time, he was able to run every single test available to him. What really set me off was she never asked me about my symptoms or if anything had changed in the past six months, which was the last time I saw a doctor for these issues.
She then stated that I have some type of enigma. Hmmm, enigma (One that is puzzling, ambiguous, or inexplicable.), yeah, OK, I’ll buy that, and that would be why I’m here. I stated that I was upset because we seemed to be getting conflicting information. I had tests run by Dr. P and Dr. H and they both indicated that the results were not normal and that there was something wrong. In fact, Dr. P stated that it was something real and that I was not making it up, but nonetheless, I’ve been diagnosed with Conversion Disorder. Dr. H told me that there was some serious muscle and nerve damage. I told her that however, Dr. Doogie stated that all the tests were normal. My wife then jumped in, obviously upset at the way the appointment was going. And stated that I had been turned down for life insurance because of this and that they were calling it Multiple Sclerosis. My wife stated that Dr. Doogie, however, is calling Conversion Disorder. The doctor quickly jumped in to defend Dr. Doogie and read from his notes stating that his notes claimed that the tests “rule out Multiple Sclerosis”. Sounds like it was a reason for a test, not the outcome.
Well, this appointment lasted less than 10 minutes. I mean seriously, I waited months to get to see you and you came highly recommended and you didn’t even ask me one question or touch me and you came to the diagnosis that I’m perfectly well. Hmmmmm, I wonder if I can get away with something like that in my job.
An enigma, too funny, I was actually told that I was an “enigma” by one of my doctors. I think it was my first rheumatologist that I went to. She was a jerk, to say the least. I so wish you could fire doctors like you can other people. I know you can “fire” them, but it doesn’t stop them from being a jerk to other people.
I have had several doctors tell me that I’m an “enigma”. To me that is doctor speak for, “we have no clue what is wrong with you”.