Prostate / Colon Health
Probably the thing that most men dread the most while at a doctor is the prostate exam. For some reason, almost every male seems to dread this. I have had several and to be honest, they are more annoying than anything else. The process is rather painless, though it can be uncomfortable, and actually only takes a few minutes. Some men will whine and whimper that it hurts and to be honest, the doctor’s finger is so much smaller than what, well, uhm, what often comes out of that some orifice, so the pain is just them being big babies. And if you took a massive “world record” dump, I’m sure it is many times thicker than his finger, so man up.
The prostate exam is used to check the size of the prostate and often tests cell samples of the prostate to check for cancer. Approximately 3 million American men have some type of prostate disease and more than 27,000 die from the disease each year. The most common types are Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH) or Enlarged Prostate, Prostatitis, and Prostate Cancer.
Going hand in hand with prostate health is colon health and the most common method to check colon health is the colonoscopy. I have had a colonoscopy before (two actually) and they are not a big deal. In fact actor Will Smith recently had one and he VLOG’d about it.
**NOTE** This was filmed before Will performed the “Slap Heard Around the World”
If Will Smith isn’t your game, how about Jimmy Kimmel
I think that the hardest part of getting a colonoscopy is the prep. You will drink a flavored drink of some sort (depending on what your doctor prefers) which is basically a super laxative. A little later you will drink more or a different drink. Over the next 24 hours, you will follow a schedule of the drinks and sit on the throne for a while. I can tell you that you do NOT want to start this process anywhere but at home, because it often acts fast and you don’t want to have to run to find a bathroom. I recommend that you also have some reading material near the thorn as you will be in there for a while and more than once. Do NOT cheat this process, if you aren’t clean enough, the doctor may have you come back and repeat it again and you don’t want to do that again.
Once you are at the place where they will perform the procedure, you will be asked to strip and put on a gown. When they are ready they will knock you out and you will wake about an hour later and go your merry way. There isn’t any pain associated with it unless the doctor chooses to do a small procedure like removing a polyp or something.
I have had two colonoscopies in my life so far and they both were the same and different if that makes sense. The doctors used two different methods to prep, my first was done at a hospital, and the second at an endoscopy facility. They were both painless and I don’t remember anything that happened after I was knocked out.
What happens during and after a colonoscopy?
The first one, however, has a funny little story associated with it. I was in recovery and I’m coming to and I look around and am surrounded by yellow curtains. The first voice I hear is a co-worker of mine. I’m listening and trying to figure out what in the hell is going on. I realize it is Tom and I call out and say “Tom, is that you” and I hear him respond with yes Average Joe, it is me. I state “what in the hell are you doing here” and then he opens the curtains and looks at me. he explains that his child is in the bed next to mine. Too funny.
So see your doctor and man up and get it done, it might just save your life.